When aliens landed,
We said “Go away!
Our planet’s untidy,
Society’s frayed.”
They wouldn’t obey.
“We have come help you,”
the aliens said.
We were so embarrassed
We wished we were dead.
And hid in our beds.
“Just go, we can manage,
Come back later on!
We know it is messy,
We’ll clean when you’re gone.”
We said, put-upon.
“But war, and pollution,
and warming your globe,”
the aliens noted,
“We’ve seen with our probes.
Don’t be xhenophobes.”
“Yeah, maybe, whatever,”
our eloquence spoke,
“We’ll fix it, we promise,
But it ain’t that broke,
It just needs a poke.”
“What is it to you, though?
Why make us feel bad?
You come here and lecture
And make us all sad!
You’re not our real dad!”
We wanted to show them
Our best, but they saw
The ugly and messy,
The faulty and flawed.
They wouldn’t be awed.
“Oh leave us,” we whispered,
“We can’t bear the shame.
Our honour is ruined,
And you are to blame!
Don’t try to disclaim!”
“Okay, then, but promise
That you will all strive,”
The aliens said as
They turned on their drive.
“Just try to survive!”
The aliens left us,
The mess still remains.
We really should fix it
But it’s such a pain.
“Tomorrow.”
Again.